Is it unloving to tell a fellow brother to stop a bad habit?

This is an important and a sensitive question which must be addressed with care. I will employ all my powers and by the help of the divine Spirit, provide you with an answer which is in concordance with the holy scriptures.

It is not unloving, but loving 

We are living in a time that certain people considers it unloving to point out their sin(s) and to speak against it. Assuming a friend of yours is addicted to drugs and alcohol, and you reach out to him, and speak in love for him or her to stop, and you explain the consequences of his actions, and offer to help. Can we say you are being unloving? Certainly not, it is rather an act of love to point out a destructive habit of a brother and offer help, than to ignore him to his fate. 

Do not condemn the person 

But it will be unloving on our part to speak against a person's bad habits, and condemn the person at the same time. When you make a person feel worse in his or her state, it means you are not being loving, rather unloving. Brothers who are overtaken in a fault, needs to be treated with love and gentleness, as we seek to restore them on the true path. 

Apostle Paul wrote this: Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ-- Galatians 6; 1-2

When you speak against a person's bad habits without offering help, you will end up making the person to sin even more. We are to use the word of God as a standard to counsel erring believers, with the main objective to recover them from the errors of their ways. When king David sin greatly against God by committing adultery, murder and falsehood, God sent his prophet and he came and spoke the mind of God to him, and that led to his repentance, see his penitential Psalms (Psalm 32 and 51). 

You are being unloving when you ignore the person's destructive habit, or even when you speak against it, you do so with the motive of feeling important or condemning the person and offering no practical help 

What about the unbelievers?

Unbelievers are dead in sins and trespasses, and as Christians it should be our sole priority to reach out to them with the gospel of Christ. We are not being unloving when we speak against their sins, warn them of impending judgement and finally point them to Jesus Christ for them to be saved. For salvation and it's subsequent blessings can be accessed by faith in the person and work of Christ alone (Ephesians 2; 8-10). 

Imagine you have an unbeliever as a friend and you often talk to him about other stuff, but not for once have you spoken to him or her about the gospel of Christ. My question is, in such a case are you being loving or unloving? You know they are drowning and soon they will pass out, and yet fold your arms unconcerned, is this a loving attitude on your part?

When we speak to them in love about Jesus, and show them the way they can be saved, that is the definition of love. We are to be tactical and intelligent in communicating the truth of the gospel to unbelievers around us. God bless you 

A thought to ponder 🤔 

We are to be tactical and intelligent in communicating the truth of the gospel to unbelievers around us

We defend and exposit the truth of the gospel

Comments

  1. AnonymousDecember 14, 2025 at 5:18 AM

    How can I convert a friend who always find ways to ignore me when ever I raise a topic concerning God or salvation and even his or her bad habbit

    ReplyDelete
  2. Donaldson BoamahDecember 15, 2025 at 3:33 AM

    Then I will encourage you to spend much time and pray for your friend. Peradventure, God will touch his heart to hearken to whatever you have to say to him

    ReplyDelete

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